Lawyer jokes

A truck driver would amuse himself by running over
lawyers he would see walking down the side of the road. Every
time he would see a lawyer walking along the road, he would swerve
to hit him, and there would be a loud "THUMP" and then he would
swerve back onto the road.
(at this point some of you are probably wondering how the trucker could
distinguish the lawyers from the humans. Obviously he saw the trail of slime
they left...)
One day, as the truck driver was driving along he
saw a priest hitchhiking. He thought he would do a good turn and
pulled the truck over. He asked the priest, "Where are you going, Father?"
"I'm going to the church 5 miles down the road,"
replied the priest.
"No problem, Father! I'll give you a lift. Climb in
the truck."
The happy priest climbed into the passenger seat and
the truck driver continued down the road.
Suddenly the truck driver saw a lawyer walking down
the road and instinctively he swerved to hit him. But then he
remembered there was a priest in the truck with him, so at the
last minute he swerved back away, narrowly missing the lawyer.
However even though he was certain he missed the lawyer, he still
heard a loud "THUD". Not understanding where the noise came from he
glanced in his mirrors and when he didn't see
anything, he turned to the priest and said, "I'm sorry Father. I almost hit
that lawyer."
"That's okay, my son", replied the priest. "I got him with the door!"



A Russian, a Cuban, an American and a Lawyer are in a
train. The Russian takes a bootle of the Best Vodka out of his
pack, pours some into a glass, drinks it, and says: "In USSR, we
have the best vodka of the world, nowhere in the world you can find
Vodka as good as the one we produce in Ukrainia. And we have so
much of it, that we can just throw it away..." Saying that, he
open the window and throw the rest of the bottle thru it. All
the others are quite impressed.
The Cuban takes a pack of Havanas, takes one of them,
lights it and begins to smoke it saying: "In Cuba, we have the
best cigars of the world: Havana, nowhere in the world there is so
many and so good cigar and we have so much of them, that we can
just throw them away...".
Saying that, he throws the pack of Havanas thru the
window. One more time, everybody is quite impressed.
At this time, the American just stands up, opens the
window, and throws the Lawyer through it...