Old Folks... Ooopps! Sorry! I meant Senior Citizens

> Caught In The Act

One night, an 87-year-old woman came home from Bingo
to find her 92-year-old husband in bed with another
woman. She became violent and ended up pushing him
off the balcony of their 20th floor apartment, killing
him instantly.
Brought before the court, on the charge of murder,
she was asked if she had anything to say in her own
defense. "Your Honor," she began coolly, "I figured
that at 92, if he could screw, he could fly."


> Bad Food

A Doctor was addressing a large audience in Tampa.
"The material we put into our stomachs is enough to
have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red
meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode your stomach
lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High fat
diets can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the
long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking
water. But there is one thing that is the most
dangerous of all and we all have, or will, eat it. Can
anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the
most grief and suffering for years after eating it?"
After several seconds of quiet, a 75-year-old man in
the front row raised his hand, and softly said,
"Wedding Cake."


Old Folks

This old man in his eighties gets up and puts on his
coat.
His wife says, Where are you going?"
He said, "I'm going to the doctor."
And she said, "Are you sick?"
"No" he said, "I'm going to get me some of those new
Viagra pills."
So his wife gets out of her rocker and puts on her
coat.
He said," Where are you going?"
She said, "I'm going to the doctor, too."
He said, "Why?"
She said, "If you're going to start using that rusty
old thing, I'm going to get me a tetanus shot."


Old Married Folks

Bob, a 70-year-old, extremely wealthy widower, shows
up at the Country Club with a breathtakingly beautiful
and very sexy 25-year-old blonde who knocks
everyone's socks off with her youthful sex appeal and
charm and who hangs over
Bob's arm and listens intently to his every word.
His buddies at the club are all aghast. At the very
first chance, they corner him and ask, "Bob, how'd you
get the trophy girlfriend?" Bob replies,
"Girlfriend? She's my wife!"
They are knocked over but continue to ask.
"So, how'd you persuade her to marry
you?" "I lied about my age", Bob replies.
"What, did you tell her you were only 50?"
Bob smiles and says, "No, I told her I was 90."